7 Quotes From Comedians That Would Make Great First Lines of Books

Thinking of writing a book? The first line is important. The first line sets the mood, theme, style, world and should introduce the main conflict. “Amazing Bonus,” if it foreshadows the end. Above all, the first line should hook an agent, a publisher or two and thousands  millions of readers.

Sounds easy.

Image courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons by Reuben Ingber, Some Rights Reserved.
Image courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons by Reuben Ingber, Some Rights Reserved.

To get you started, here are some plagiarized borrowed lines from people that are already famous. I think these would make perfect openings. The famous won’t mind. Probably (<~Not legal advice). Just think of the possibilities…

Kevin Hart

I used to think guns were loud until I dropped the damn shampoo in the shower.

Laura Kightlinger

I have a rule, and that is to never look at somebody’s face while we’re having sex; because, number one, what if I know the guy?

Image via FlickR Creative Commons by Veronica Belmont, Some Rights Reserved.
Image via Flickr Creative Commons by Veronica Belmont, Some Rights Reserved.

Louis CK

I know it’s not popular to say, but I hate balloons.

Betty White

Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep. Nine, if you’re ugly.

Redd Fox

I feel sorry for people who don’t drink or do drugs. Because someday they’re going to be in a hospital bed, dying, and they won’t know why.

via Flickr Creative Commons by Carla de Souza Campos, Some Rights Reserved.
via Flickr Creative Commons by Carla de Souza Campos, Some Rights Reserved.

More Laura Kightlinger

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

Dane Cook

When I said I wanted to be a comedian, they all laughed at me. Well, no one’s laughing now.

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Jen

Texas author, Jen Sako should have songwriting awards in both rock n' roll and country music but she can't sing. Instead she uses her storytelling skills to write novels involving a heroine who is a work in progress and usually sets beautiful people around mountains, lakes and oceans. Although she believes folks should always fight for what they want, she also likes peace and quiet. When she is not exercising or eating sugar-free, she can be found with one or more of the following: wine, chocolate, bacon, French fries or a good Spanish cheese. Her romance stories are funny, emotional, sexy and probably contain exotic cars. Her motto is everybody makes mistakes and she strives to give and seek forgiveness. Otherwise, her inner teenager loves a hot rockstar and juicy celebrity news. She wants a maid for her house and is insanely jealous of smart people.

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